How to Build Confidence and Self-Esteem in Your Children

Tips to Help Your Kids Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

Every parent wants their child to be confident and stand proud. Unfortunately this does not come naturally to all children.

You work hard, you lead by example and you compliment them whenever you can, but what can you do when that isn’t enough? Building confidence in kids doesn’t happen overnight but these tips will help you and your child boost self-esteem.

Be Their Cheering Section

Let your child know that you are proud of their achievements and skills. Tell them of the delight they bring to you and high five their successes. On occasion, allow them to ‘overhear’ you singing their praises for something great they did. This shows them that you aren’t just being kind to them when you say you are proud. Whether you like it or not, you are who they seek approval from and knowing that they make you proud will build their confidence.

Let Your Child Make Their Own Decisions

By giving your child the freedom to make age appropriate decisions, they learn to consider the possible consequences of their choices. For example – I need to wear a jacket on cool windy days because I will get cold or if I don’t hand in my homework I could get detention. This makes them feel more in control and powerful.

Encourage Your Child to DO

Encourage your child to do what they enjoy, to try new things and find exciting hobbies. This shows them that what they love is important and worth doing. It is essential that your child discovers new talents and skills and by encouraging them to do what they love, gives them the confidence to try.

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Don’t Over Praise

You should absolutely be your child’s personal cheering squad and tell them when they are doing a great job, however over praising could be doing more harm than good.

When a child is led to believe they are always ‘kicking goals’ and one day they fail, this can be absolutely crushing for their confidence and can take a long time to get back. By praising a child when it’s earned they learn that they have to work a little harder to get that pat on the back.

That’s not to say you can’t make them feel special every day, because as a parent you absolutely can and should. It simply means that praising every tiny thing will take away the value and meaning from the big moments that really should be applauded.

Let Them Fail

Parents want to see their children succeed and will do whatever they can to make this happen. Unfortunately, by not letting your kids fail they will not learn the skills required to get back up and problem solve how things went wrong. Parents need to take a step back and encourage their children to take risks and finish what they start. This is one of the first steps to your child becoming a competent and confident person.

Set Some Goals

Having goals to reach gives your child something to work towards. As they work on achieving this objective, it gives parents a great opportunity to teach them to take pride in what they do and own their accomplishments. Hitting these goals will boost their self-esteem.

As a parent, finding that balance of your child knowing and feeling loved while being encouraged, but without being coddling can be tough. It’s a fine line but at the end of the day, it is important that your child understands not everyone learns and does things the same way. Everyone faces different challenges and achieves results at different times. Most importantly, you can’t force confidence and boost self-esteem overnight, it can take time so be patient.

Kell Kelly


Tags: Parenting
Kell Kelly

Kell Kelly is a mum, a wife to her childhood sweetheart and a writer. She shares her home in the picturesque Hunter Valley wine region with her husband and 4 children. When she isn’t working at home, folding laundry or chasing the kids to put on their shoes; she enjoys discovering her surroundings, taking in the great outdoors and spending some much needed time with her husband. Prior to...

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